A question for men: You hear a sexist joke. Do you say anything?

Victory was declared yesterday in the worldwide movement against sexual misconduct. Harvey Weinstein was convicted of sexual assault, and now faces up to 29 years in jail. “It’s a perfect test case of what happens when a culture begins to shift,” Deborah Tuerkheimer, a law professor, told The New York Times.This momentary victory will add momentum to the fight against predators, but it’s my sense that a significant change … [Read more...]

How can men make the world safer for women?

On Saturday morning, I was steeling myself for another Globe and Mail article connected to the sexual abuse of Megan Brown, a former University of Guelph athlete. I coach the golf team at Guelph.Instead, I found a disturbing story about a report that the late Jean Vanier, the Canadian founder of L’Arche, had sexually exploited a number of women employees.Really? Jean Vanier! This hit me hard because as a Roman Catholic, and the nephew of two … [Read more...]

The toughest—and best—questions that you can ask yourself

One of my favourite Monty Python bits is the deadliest joke sketch—about a joke so funny that it killed whoever read or heard it.   My vote for the hardest question that you can ask yourself is this: Do I do what I say I am going to do? Most everyone hates this question. It's a beast. Asking yourself this question is more difficult than if someone else asks it. You could evade, bullshit, weave a … [Read more...]

Some great big and not very scary words on commitment

In my twenties, I was in my Mordecai Richler novel phase. Geez, that guy loved to trot out some $10,000 words. I'd have to look some of them up. Words such as corpulent (obese), capacious (roomy) and perfidiousness (betrayal, lack of trust). After I'd look up the word, it seemed as though I would then trip over it every few days. I went from having never seen the word to seeing it all the time. Since delivering a series of workshops and … [Read more...]

How to turn accountability from a negative nag into an paragon of positivity

Yes, a hard question to start: Do you hold yourself accountable? Do you follow through and do the things that you say you are going to do? (Squirming yet?) Or, do you think about, say, going to the gym, but find that over and over again, that you don’t go? Do things seem to get in the way—like a bad night’s sleep, an argument with your partner, an obligation—and you talk yourself out of going? Similarly, how often do you formulate a … [Read more...]