A blog about judgment; I hope you approve

Ezine #3—When my boys were in high school, I often suggested they join various clubs and participate in social activities beyond sports. Apparently, however, engaging in such things would be “uncool.” Of course, I translated uncool to mean, “I’d love to act on your great wisdom dear father, but I’m terribly afraid of being judged by my mean-spirited peers.” You don’t have to be a teenager to be concerned about what people think about you. … [Read more...]

The paradoxical freeing power of commitment

I’ve got a riddle for you: Let’s say you’re playing golf by yourself and you have to use a washroom. You just gotta. So you leave your golf bag on the tee. While you’re in the loo, say your golf bag falls over. There’s no one there to hear it land on the ground. Does it make a noise? Super deep, eh? It’s good for you to think about stuff like that—at least for a few seconds before you look it up on Google. Ok. I got something else for … [Read more...]

I’ll bet you can make a commitment and keep it

In thinking about our societal problem with commitment, I’m reminded of a poignant episode of that paragon of social commentary, The Flintstones. In Season Two in 1962, Arnold the newsboy challenges Fred to a marbles game, re-igniting Fred’s gambling compulsion, sending him into a hypnotic, stuttering trance, ‘B-b-b-bet-bet!” Generally speaking, if I ask most people about their commitments, it’s such a loaded and scary word that they can … [Read more...]

My end-of-the-season ritual: It’s over and I’m good with that

I am not grieving the end of the golf season. I’m done and I’m good with it. I’ve accepted that I won’t be hitting the little white ball off green grass for another five months, except in the unlikely event that I go south this winter. Over the past half-dozen years or so, I’ve followed a season-ending ritual that allows me to segue into winter unbridled with sorrow and longing. If you are “normal” person, you may not grasp the pathos of … [Read more...]

What’s so funny bout peace and love in a Trump world?

  After Trump jumped into an early lead, I was too nervous, sad and exhausted to watch any more and went to bed. I woke up shortly after 3 a.m. with a sense of dread that the unthinkable had happened. My mind raced with thoughts of people being deported en masse, media organizations being muzzled, and of nuclear annihilation. I worried for the future of my sons. But after getting up and digesting some of the coverage, I was somewhat … [Read more...]